Tag: declutter challenge

Week 6: “What Did I Miss”

Donna Joy

(I’m already on my way to get to the bottom of this….what did I miss?)

I’ve chosen to evaluate my belongings in the context of categories instead of room by room, which has been really helpful for me. I like thinking about the items in terms of how I use them, why I purchase them, and how/where/how long I store them as a whole group. However, this approach also makes it possible for things to be passed over, either because they get forgotten, or put off, or are hiding. 

So I’m dedicating this week to addressing what I’ve missed along the way. Some of it will be going room by room and evaluating items that never quite fit one of the 5 weeks so far. Some of it will be putting some spaces back together.

I sorted through my sentimental items and photos this past week, but they’ve been sitting in their sorted piles around my house for a few days as I’ve debated how to store them. After checking all the boxes and bins I’ve emptied from other categories recently, I found bins that will work well for most of the sentimental items that made the cut, but not my photos. (not even the photo boxes I bought for games before sorting my games, then realized I didn’t need. whomp-whomp.) I hemmed and hawed and tried dresser drawers and all sorts of unconventional places, then finally decided I was spending more time and effort trying to avoid buying something new than it was worth. So I ordered a few boxes, after checking the measurements several times to ensure they’d fit the senior portrait packages, class photos and other pictures that are designed to never fit neatly in a standard size box.
In the meantime, the piles of photos and sentimental items laying around feel heavy and stressful, compared to the spaces I’ve been working on lightening up, and the spaces I’ve let them stack up are already starting to act like clutter magnets.  This week, I want to complete those leftover tasks that are weighing down my spaces and for the spaces I haven’t addressed yet, I plan to try out a method of decluttering I’ve been avoiding like a child being offered brussel sprouts. 

Because…brussel sprouts are one of my favorite foods now, so…maybe it’s worth a shot, too? 

Photo Contents: Piles of photos, each with the lid of a different box that proved to be too small for the sizes of photos I want to store in them, so here they sit, awaiting their new homes.

Week 5, Day 6: More Photos

Donna Joy

One of the things I was looking forward to in this journey was gaining more of an awareness of what I have. It is so easy for me to live disconnected in so many areas – I don’t grow my own food, I don’t make my own clothes, life is increasingly virtual – especially this past year. The act of going through my possessions is bringing a level of awareness of what I own but it is also breaking through disconnection in other ways.

Going through my photos forces me to see what I have in a different way. It reminds me of the variety of experiences I’ve been able to have, from the births of my children, to bowling with friends on a random trip to Illinois; Singing in choirs from churches to Carnegie Hall to more outdoor adventures than I could remember; weddings, funerals, parties and memorials. It reminds me of relationships that have spanned decades and relationships that have come and gone, or changed significantly. It reminds me of the thoughts I had at the very beginning of this blog:

“The transformation from dust and to dust is not limited to just our literal birth and death, it is found in every season of our lives. In every season there are cycles of creation, dust, waiting and re-creation.”

Some photos were reminders of the dust, some were reminders of the cycles of creation I see in my relationships. I loved reaching out to a few friends and family members this week, sharing with them some of the little memories I found. I loved sitting with my child at the end of a long day, reminiscing and laughing at old school journals and projects.

And I love that there is still room my photo boxes. There are seasons of recreation still to come, and more photos to be taken.

Image Contents: A throw-back photo of the author and her favorite childhood dog (a Great Dane), posing like horse and jockey.

Week 5, Day 5: Photos

Donna Joy

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Today I continued sentimental. I could do a month in this category alone.

While there are numerous other things I could round out the week with, I decided to face my photos. 

I’m old enough to have lived through disposable cameras, 35mm film, and the Official Scrapbooking Parties where you paid money for a salesperson to teach you the only way to respect your loved ones is to buy all of the salesperson’s official Acid Free photo paper, albums, stickers, markers, pens, scissors, trimmers, protectors and other accessories and write a scrapbook novel highlighting the incredibly special photos in each sleeve of pictures you picked up at the one-hour photo center.

And I have photos from all of those periods.

Including photos from at least 2 of those parties. 

And let’s face it.  If my donation sale was stocked in part by all the crafts I realized I will never have time to master or even attempt well, I can be pretty stinking sure I am not scrapbooking the photos from my junior high youth group game night anytime soon. (Confession: my mind just designed a horrifying scrapbook for it anyway, complete with a hypercolor cover, neon paper and photos held in place by aqua-net super hold. Long live the 80s and may it rest in peace and never return.) (Another confession: I actually went to jr. high and high school mostly in the 90s, but aqua net hairspray takes a long time to wash out of your life.)

ANYWAY, I approached photos today in the strength of knowing I did not need to make this a craft project. I also did not need to feel shame about how disorganized they are, or guilt for not having done anything with them earlier beyond tossing photos in photo boxes, sometimes randomly. Life can be hard and for me, in-depth photo organization is one thing I don’t really regret letting go. 

I kept my process SUPER simple, because anything more and I would be overwhelmed and not have the capacity to complete it.

I got out my trusty post-its (I decluttered a lot of them a few weeks ago, but kept a few different sizes and colors because those things make every project better and I love them) and set labels out in front of me: one for each of my 3 children alone, one for friends, extended family, etc. 

One by one I pulled photo boxes down from their shelf and sorted the photos into those piles. 

Every few photos, my old voices would try to interrupt: Shouldn’t you be organizing this by date? I can’t believe you haven’t labelled every picture. What if you die and no one knows if this photo is son 1 or son 2? Wait, is that son 1 or son 2? Wow, you’re a really bad mom. and photo organizer. 

Over and over I shushed the shame and reminded myself that anything I do today is better than it was yesterday. I got through about half my photos boxes today. For that group, I now know what photos I have. I know where to look if there’s a photo I want to show someone or use for something. 

And for today, that is enough.

Oh, and I also know I no longer need to store precious gems like this double vision photo. buh-bye. 

Week 5, Day 4: Donation Garage Sale Part 2

Donna Joy

There are experts who will tell you never to have a garage sale. (You end up storing stuff to wait for it, you never get a good return on your time, you waste time and money prepping for it, etc.)

There are experts who tell you to definitely have a garage sale. (sell EVERYTHING on your path to get out of debt, get rid of your stuff and make a little cash doing it, etc.)

I have typically been closer to the first camp. I’ve hosted a couple garage sales in the past, but they’ve always been fundraisers for specific organizations or causes I care about. For those, I gathered help, made a plan in advance for the leftovers, set up refreshments manned by adorable little bakers and lemonade servers, merchandized the inventory and advertised extensively.

This was the first time I’ve ever said, “hey, I should have a garage sale, right now, in the middle of the afternoon, while I’m home by myself and haven’t told anyone to advertise.”

A few things I learned anyway:

-It.is.exhausting. Even just the set up/tear down process of dragging everything out, dragging everything in when it got dark, dragging it back out the next day, dragging it to the garage or curb or car trunk after. Then comes getting rid of the leftovers, not to mention any time manning it.

-It is typically a horrible return on investment. Granted, some of the fundraisers I’ve had in the past brought in a very significant amount of money donated, and this one today most likely would have been much more profitable had I scheduled and advertised ahead, employed help, etc. 

-If you tell someone you are having a garage sale, 99.9999999% of the time, they will offer you their own items to bring to sell. Or they’ll just drop them off at your house. when you’re not there. on your driveway. in unmarked bags. with no contact info. 

-At least one middle aged or older man will drive by the garage sale and ask “well then, how much for the garage?”

-people will come by and say, “this is so nice, I can’t believe you’re just getting rid of it” and you will have to decide how much you want to tell a complete stranger about your journey to less stuff while standing with masks on talking across a lawn. Or the version from people who know you, “I can’t believe you’re getting rid of THIS!” (that comment from friends was usually referring craft items.)

After hosting my, uh, pop-up sale (does that make it sound more modern, inviting, and trendy than “last-minute garage sale?”) I confirmed garage sales are not my jam.

I loved getting to see some friends and neighbors I haven’t seen in at least a year. I loved gathering donation money from it. I loved getting rid of stuff. But it was 2 days of work I wasn’t planning on doing and I still have lots of stuff left to donate. (Plus two unidentified bags of donations.)

If you are getting out of debt or saving for a specific goal, go for it. Sell like it’s your job. 

If you’re just trying to get rid of stuff, just get rid of your stuff.

For me, getting rid of (the rest of) my stuff is going to mean a little tour of donation centers over the next couple days and I can.not.wait to come back home after it’s all delivered and assess how everything looks and feels. 

Week 5, Day 3: Breaking News

Donna Joy

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for an important update:

Today I had an epiphany.

Like, a this-is-life-changing-while-also-super-obvious-why-didn’t-I realize-this-earlier-I-even-wrote-a-whole-post-about-it, kind of epiphany.

I am not motivated by shame.

I am stressed by shame.

I am physically afflicted by shame.

I am not motivated by shame.

And yet somehow, when I started this journey, I thought the most helpful and motivating thing for myself would be to keep every single item I am removing from my home in one place, so I could see the impact all together. (Read: so I could sit at the end of the challenge and wallow in a big old pile of shame clutter and hope those shame surges would motivate me to not bring so much stuff into my house in the future.)

Here’s what actually happened:

Everyday I put more and more donation items in my son’s bedroom (while he is away at college).

I balanced bags on top of boxes on top of bags. 

I got multiple piles in and started thinking about how I need to go back and re-organize what’s in there, since I realized partway through, I will likely give different types of items to different organizations.

I spent a significant amount of time with the back of my head clogged with thoughts about how I needed to Organize.The.Clutter.I’m.Giving.Away.

Let that sit a second.

Every time I go in the give-away room I’m stressed at trying to find a place for things, to the point that some things have lingered in other rooms instead of going straight to give-away because I was avoiding going in there. 

Then yesterday I decided to move some furniture around in my living/dining room.

As I walked into the rearranged room today, I caught my breath at how beautiful and peaceful it was.

I instantly wanted to do more and have that feeling in the rest of the house. 

That motivated me.

It made me feel free, lighter, peaceful. 

Right then I decided to immediately get rid of as much of my donations as possible. 

I walked outside and stuck a sign on the front yard, along with a post in my local swap and sell group that I was having a “donate what you can, if you can” sale, along with a donation link to my favorite non-profit.

It was late in the day for an outdoor “sale” and very last minute, but even so, a number of items now have very happy new owners and the non-profit has a little more money than they did yesterday. 

There are still lots of things left, so I plan to put the remainder out for one more day. Then I’ll box anything left back up, deliver it this week, and let the house and myself breathe a little deeper and feel a little freer. 

Because it turns out, being able to breathe a little deeper and a little freer is what really motivates me. 

Week 3, Day 6: Fun on the Go

Donna Joy

I planned on going through my stash of hammocks and blankets and outdoor supplies I keep in my car during the Spring/Summer/Fall, but to get to those, I would have had to move kayaks and other big equipment in the garage and the temp went above 50 for the first time in what felt like 10 years today, so other than a quick pass through the games and things I regularly keep in my car, I skipped the decluttering today. Because the point is to uncover real, and to live life fully and when the sun is shining and jackets are unnecessary, life is often better spent walking with a real friend and a real cup of coffee than wrestling with kayaks in a windowless garage. 

No photo today. I was too busy enjoying the sunshine on my walk to remember to take a picture.