For my first Artist Spotlight, I want to highlight a piece of art near and dear to my heart.
And nearer and dearer to my upper arm…
When my kids were little, there was a very popular philosophy of parenting that went something like this:
Our job as parents is to fill our children’s buckets of self-esteem so full that no matter how many holes the world pokes, it won’t run dry.
Pinterest became flooded with charts and graphics highlighting “bucket filling” compliments and self-esteem-builders parents needed to be constantly pouring into their children.
I love a good compliment.
I’m a big fan of giving my children love.
And the concept of filling their buckets sounds kind of sweet, I suppose.
And it sounds like a lot of pressure.
And it sounds like…
well….it kind of sounds like crap.
I am one person. I could spend every waking minute of my children’s lives “filling their buckets” with compliments and encouragement and it would not be enough to combat the many voices they will encounter in their lifetime who will poke holes in their buckets.
As much I love my children, I also know I’m not always the perfect model of patience and grace (seriously. It’s true) and sometimes I’m going to mess up and poke a few holes in their buckets myself (read: all.the.time). Not to mention – what would happen if I was suddenly taken from them, after teaching them that their self-worth was built on how full I could fill their buckets?
There must be another way.
Enter the children’s book “You Are Special” by Max Lucado.
In the world Lucado creates, a village of wooden people called Wemmicks spend their days plastering other villagers with stickers – gold stars for compliment worthy actions or appearances, black dots for perceived failures. The Wemmick version of filling, and poking holes in, buckets.
One Wemmick, Punchinello, spends his days trying to earn stars, trying to earn acceptance from others, only to be repeatedly covered with dots. Dejected, he wanders the village and eventually happens upon a Wemmick named Lucia who, much to his surprise, has NO stickers.
No dots.
No stars.
She responds to his curiosity by bringing him to meet the woodcarver who created the Wemmicks. The woodcarver reminds Punchinello of his inherent value, his worth as a created being, regardless of his appearance, talents, any other qualifier, or any other person’s opinion.
As Punchinello is bathed in those reminders, one of his stickers begins to peel and fall away.
No matter how many stars we gather, there are always going to be dots. The stars alone will never feel like enough and there will never be enough water to overcome the holes others will poke in our buckets.
But the stickers only stick if they matter to you.
When you know that you have inherent worth, that you are loved as a created being, no matter what you or others say about you, no matter how people treat you, the stars and dots don’t measure our value.
Measuring our life based on the stars and dots we receive from others or place on ourselves leads to transaction-based relationships, and transaction-based relationships far too often result in control, manipulation, and abuse. These are not the basis of real relationships. Love is.
Much love and gratitude to Kerry at Bulldog Tattoo for his incredible work turning this idea into a piece of art I can carry with me everywhere, reminding me that “the stickers only stick if you let them.”
(his worth is not based on what a great job he did creating this piece, but I still believe compliments and gratitude are worth sharing!)
You can check Kerry out on Instagram to see more of his work, and you can order “You are Special” by Max Lucado just about anywhere books are sold online. Available in hardcover, paperback and a condensed board book.
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Uncovering Real 