Tag: Minimalist

Week 5, Day 6: More Photos

Donna Joy

One of the things I was looking forward to in this journey was gaining more of an awareness of what I have. It is so easy for me to live disconnected in so many areas – I don’t grow my own food, I don’t make my own clothes, life is increasingly virtual – especially this past year. The act of going through my possessions is bringing a level of awareness of what I own but it is also breaking through disconnection in other ways.

Going through my photos forces me to see what I have in a different way. It reminds me of the variety of experiences I’ve been able to have, from the births of my children, to bowling with friends on a random trip to Illinois; Singing in choirs from churches to Carnegie Hall to more outdoor adventures than I could remember; weddings, funerals, parties and memorials. It reminds me of relationships that have spanned decades and relationships that have come and gone, or changed significantly. It reminds me of the thoughts I had at the very beginning of this blog:

“The transformation from dust and to dust is not limited to just our literal birth and death, it is found in every season of our lives. In every season there are cycles of creation, dust, waiting and re-creation.”

Some photos were reminders of the dust, some were reminders of the cycles of creation I see in my relationships. I loved reaching out to a few friends and family members this week, sharing with them some of the little memories I found. I loved sitting with my child at the end of a long day, reminiscing and laughing at old school journals and projects.

And I love that there is still room my photo boxes. There are seasons of recreation still to come, and more photos to be taken.

Image Contents: A throw-back photo of the author and her favorite childhood dog (a Great Dane), posing like horse and jockey.

Week 5, Day 4: Donation Garage Sale Part 2

Donna Joy

There are experts who will tell you never to have a garage sale. (You end up storing stuff to wait for it, you never get a good return on your time, you waste time and money prepping for it, etc.)

There are experts who tell you to definitely have a garage sale. (sell EVERYTHING on your path to get out of debt, get rid of your stuff and make a little cash doing it, etc.)

I have typically been closer to the first camp. I’ve hosted a couple garage sales in the past, but they’ve always been fundraisers for specific organizations or causes I care about. For those, I gathered help, made a plan in advance for the leftovers, set up refreshments manned by adorable little bakers and lemonade servers, merchandized the inventory and advertised extensively.

This was the first time I’ve ever said, “hey, I should have a garage sale, right now, in the middle of the afternoon, while I’m home by myself and haven’t told anyone to advertise.”

A few things I learned anyway:

-It.is.exhausting. Even just the set up/tear down process of dragging everything out, dragging everything in when it got dark, dragging it back out the next day, dragging it to the garage or curb or car trunk after. Then comes getting rid of the leftovers, not to mention any time manning it.

-It is typically a horrible return on investment. Granted, some of the fundraisers I’ve had in the past brought in a very significant amount of money donated, and this one today most likely would have been much more profitable had I scheduled and advertised ahead, employed help, etc. 

-If you tell someone you are having a garage sale, 99.9999999% of the time, they will offer you their own items to bring to sell. Or they’ll just drop them off at your house. when you’re not there. on your driveway. in unmarked bags. with no contact info. 

-At least one middle aged or older man will drive by the garage sale and ask “well then, how much for the garage?”

-people will come by and say, “this is so nice, I can’t believe you’re just getting rid of it” and you will have to decide how much you want to tell a complete stranger about your journey to less stuff while standing with masks on talking across a lawn. Or the version from people who know you, “I can’t believe you’re getting rid of THIS!” (that comment from friends was usually referring craft items.)

After hosting my, uh, pop-up sale (does that make it sound more modern, inviting, and trendy than “last-minute garage sale?”) I confirmed garage sales are not my jam.

I loved getting to see some friends and neighbors I haven’t seen in at least a year. I loved gathering donation money from it. I loved getting rid of stuff. But it was 2 days of work I wasn’t planning on doing and I still have lots of stuff left to donate. (Plus two unidentified bags of donations.)

If you are getting out of debt or saving for a specific goal, go for it. Sell like it’s your job. 

If you’re just trying to get rid of stuff, just get rid of your stuff.

For me, getting rid of (the rest of) my stuff is going to mean a little tour of donation centers over the next couple days and I can.not.wait to come back home after it’s all delivered and assess how everything looks and feels. 

Week 5, Day 3: Breaking News

Donna Joy

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for an important update:

Today I had an epiphany.

Like, a this-is-life-changing-while-also-super-obvious-why-didn’t-I realize-this-earlier-I-even-wrote-a-whole-post-about-it, kind of epiphany.

I am not motivated by shame.

I am stressed by shame.

I am physically afflicted by shame.

I am not motivated by shame.

And yet somehow, when I started this journey, I thought the most helpful and motivating thing for myself would be to keep every single item I am removing from my home in one place, so I could see the impact all together. (Read: so I could sit at the end of the challenge and wallow in a big old pile of shame clutter and hope those shame surges would motivate me to not bring so much stuff into my house in the future.)

Here’s what actually happened:

Everyday I put more and more donation items in my son’s bedroom (while he is away at college).

I balanced bags on top of boxes on top of bags. 

I got multiple piles in and started thinking about how I need to go back and re-organize what’s in there, since I realized partway through, I will likely give different types of items to different organizations.

I spent a significant amount of time with the back of my head clogged with thoughts about how I needed to Organize.The.Clutter.I’m.Giving.Away.

Let that sit a second.

Every time I go in the give-away room I’m stressed at trying to find a place for things, to the point that some things have lingered in other rooms instead of going straight to give-away because I was avoiding going in there. 

Then yesterday I decided to move some furniture around in my living/dining room.

As I walked into the rearranged room today, I caught my breath at how beautiful and peaceful it was.

I instantly wanted to do more and have that feeling in the rest of the house. 

That motivated me.

It made me feel free, lighter, peaceful. 

Right then I decided to immediately get rid of as much of my donations as possible. 

I walked outside and stuck a sign on the front yard, along with a post in my local swap and sell group that I was having a “donate what you can, if you can” sale, along with a donation link to my favorite non-profit.

It was late in the day for an outdoor “sale” and very last minute, but even so, a number of items now have very happy new owners and the non-profit has a little more money than they did yesterday. 

There are still lots of things left, so I plan to put the remainder out for one more day. Then I’ll box anything left back up, deliver it this week, and let the house and myself breathe a little deeper and feel a little freer. 

Because it turns out, being able to breathe a little deeper and a little freer is what really motivates me. 

On Wednesdays We Reflect: Week 4 Reflections

Donna Joy

My stuff talks smack about me.

(in case you’re confused about the difference between smack talk and trash talk, here’s a helpful tutorial from Kelly Kapoor)

I open up my cabinet and the Instant Pot taunts me: “how many times have you really pulled me off this shelf and used me?”

I open my closet and clothes scream, “hey there, chubby, you don’t think you could actually wear me, do you?”

I open a drawer in my craft dresser, and the watercolor pencils say, “woah, remember the last time you tried to use me? You were soooo bad at it!”

Everywhere I have clutter, there is a voice emanating from it. And they’re rarely kind:

“quitter”

“worthless”

 “idiot”

“slacker”

“slob”

“loser”

“hack”

And those voices aren’t just mean. They’re loud. Loud enough to drown out other voices I want to hear and need to hear. 

Some of my things actually have beautiful voices. I love fresh flowers and I usually keep a few small arrangements in different rooms of my house. Sometimes it’s just a few sprigs of pine or wildflowers from the yard, sometimes it’s a bouquet from the grocery store, but those flowers typically sing reminders to me that there is beauty in the world.

I don’t want to drown out those beautiful voices. 

I also don’t want to drown out the voices that truly help me become a better person.

But clutter doesn’t make me become a better person. Clutter doesn’t speak encouragement or motivation, it speaks shame. And voices of shame rarely motivate us to grow. In fact, researcher, author, and speaker Brené Brown defines shame as,

“the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure.” (you can find more of Brené’s work here)

I hear the watercolor pencils tell me I am flawed every time I open the craft drawer. I feel the shame of unworthiness when my closet is filled with clothes that don’t fit. 

As I declutter my home, I am realizing how powerful those voices can be, even when I don’t realize they’re speaking to me. They can create shame patterns that spiral into the hurtful and destructive cycles Brené acknowledge. 

There are a lot of voices I need to listen to, like the voice that tells me I am wonderfully made, fully and beautifully loved.

I also need to listen to the voices that help me grow – like the voices of loving friends, or the fresh veggies calling out to be chosen over the leftover soda bread. 

It’s one thing to silence the voice of an underused Instant Pot, accessory or craft item. It would be a whole other thing to try to silence the voice of an upside-down budget by shredding your bills instead of paying them. I’m not advocating for shirking responsibility but reminding myself that it’s ok to remove voices that speak unnecessary and destructive shame from my life in order to clear space for what is really necessary and beneficial in my life. 

Anyone want a barely used Instant Pot?

Week 4, Day 6: Forming Habits and Muscles

Donna Joy

Today I took a break from slogging through a few disaster zones in my basement and came upstairs to empty the dishwasher.

<pause for a moment of gratitude for a working dishwasher>

As I put a clean measuring spoon back in its holder, I noticed a couple sets of measuring spoons already there. My daughter and I love to bake, and I have kept a few sets of measuring spoons on hand for years so we can measure out multiple ingredients without having to pause to wash measuring spoons in the middle of a recipe. But while I am incredibly happy to have a working dishwasher again, the last few months without one helped remind me that it actually is possible to wash all your dishes by hand, especially if you need a quick turn-around. Who knew? 

I stacked up my favorite set of measuring spoons (the only ones narrow enough to fit in some of my spice jars) and removed all the others: Thank you for your service, buh-bye. As I turned back to finish emptying the dishwasher, I realized what had just happened.

The process of evaluating those measuring spoons was practically subconscious and completed before I realized what I was doing. All of the decision-heavy, time-consuming, slow work of decluttering each space and category of my home has been building decluttering muscles and forming habits in me. 

Wax on, wax off, paint the fence, and wash the car – all along I’ve been reducing my tolerance for clutter and building not just declutter muscles, but decision-making muscles.

NOTE: This was where I was going to insert a calm picture of our charming pink dinosaur holding our only remaining set of measuring spoons. But someone used…quite possibly every baking tool we own while creating carrot cake cupcakes and cream cheese frosting tonight, and they are all currently strewn about the kitchen. (Did I mention how thankful I am for my new dishwasher?) We’re all about keeping it real here, folks.

Week 4, Day 5: Candles, Wallpaper, Party Supplies, and a Big Goal.

Donna Joy

Today I walked into the basement to face a few hidden areas of “what do I stock up on” and decided on a big audacious goal for the day.

The Goal:

Empty this cabinet!

Ok, so as my friend pointed out, emptying the cabinet is not really a big audacious goal. But emptying it and dealing with all the stuff so it doesn’t just become relocated piles of clutter could be. 🙂

The cabinet pictured housed decorations left over from a few events I’ve planned, shelves of candles and holders, an entire shelf of rolled paper like shelf liners and removable wallpaper that jumps out at you if you dare open the cabinet doors as well as some random gift items – a wreath I made for a professional pre-covid but they haven’t been back in their office yet, reusable containers I use for wrapping treats, etc.

While addressing that cabinet I also took a pass at this basement cabinet filled with party supplies. I got overly excited and started emptying it before I remembered to take a “before” picture, so here’s a “during” shot:

Party supplies used to have their own armoire (aka the Party Dresser) up until recently, so this was already an improvement, but after these few weeks of practice I was confident I could clean out enough to make room for whatever I kept from the other cabinet.

A few thoughts from the process:

I have a lot of candle holders. I love candles in my home and for events. But I probably don’t need several dozen votive holders. I don’t plan events like I used to, and I wasn’t using a lot of votive holders at the last few events I did anyway. Buh bye. The floating candles that were an awesome deal? I don’t have a pool, pots of water for floating candles would probably just attract mosquitos outside and I’d likely set my hair or the house on fire if I tried to use them in the tub. Buh bye. The rest of candles got evaluated also, and the keepers got divided between the party cabinet and a drawer upstairs near the dining room table, where I often have tea lights burning. You know, instead of going down two set of stairs to retrieve tea lights every time they burn out.

The removable wallpaper I was keeping for covering the stair risers? I could use it to…wait for it…paper the stair risers! After decluttering, I only had about thirty minutes before needing to drive one of my kids to an appointment, but in just that time I was able to make decent progress on that project, too. I kept the rest of the roll in case I need to replace it once I get around to fixing and painting the trim, but I love how it’s coming!

After relocating the rest of the drawer liner and the paper I expect to use soon to a recently cleaned out drawer in my craft dresser, I was able to fit all the other keep items in the one party cabinet, leaving the tall cabinet…drumroll…..TOTALLY EMPTY!!!

I’m so excited to have another space cleared out! Check out Instagram and Facebook for the after photos!

Week 4, Day 4: Most Stuff Expires

Donna Joy

So, what do I stock up on? Turns out, just about everything. I started making a list and it turned into a Dr. Suess book:

Embroidery threads
and sheets for our beds
Nails, hammers, and saws
Paper party straws
Jars of olive oil
Pots with potting soil
Clothing, hats and shoes
Christmas cards with news
Plates and stands for cake
Crafts I’ll never make
Paint to brush and spray
Games we never play…

I could go on. but I won’t. you’re welcome. The point is, I stocked up on a lot of things. Even things I don’t typically use a lot of. The make-up I bought and wore pre-Covid then mostly ignored for a year? It really shouldn’t be used anymore. Most makeup can last about a year (more if unopened and sealed well) but apparently mascara has a shelf life of about 3 months once opened. I don’t use a lot of mascara, so I balk at the idea of the cost and annoyance of replacing it so often. but….I’ve also had a couple horrible eye issues in my life and after thinking through the cost and pain of those experiences…skipping mascara or buying a new one for the rare times I wear it doesn’t seem as bad as risking expired mascara.

You know what else expires? Almost everything.

Some things may be arguably safe past their suggested expiration dates. There are a lot of things that just get unsafe or unusable. The elastic on old socks gives up. Oil goes rancid. Paint separates and does not apply well or dries out. There are so many things in my house that are not only no longer useful to me, but no longer useful to anyone because they’ve passed their expiration.

For this week, this knowledge means cleaning out as many expired stock items as I can find. For the future, this means not only being thoughtful about purchases in order to limit future waste, but also building into my schedule a routine of checking for items past their usefulness, like checking cans of stain, etc. the week before the county’s hazardous waste disposal days.

It also means – use what I have! Don’t buy the great buy-one-get-one deal, if you’re only going to use one before it expires. Don’t save the specialty culinary oils for a special occasion. Enjoy it now!

Week 4, Day 3: Putting it back together

Donna Joy

This week is all about “what do I stock up on?” So far I’ve look at my cleaning supplies and health and beauty items. Today I put my linen closet and bathroom vanity back together – the two places I most typically store those kinds of products. I even bought a new organizing product – an over the door iron holder. It has been sitting in my online cart since I cleaned out my clothes closet and decided it was the wrong place for the iron, but I refused to purchase the new holder until I cleaned out the linen closet and made sure it would work there. (I’m trying to retain the lesson from the metal boxes!)
The ironing board holder works exactly how I wanted it to. The drawers I had added to my cart for under my bathroom sink, however, got removed when I realized that the lazy susan I no longer need on my kitchen table is the perfect solution. I’ll want to update the labels on my storage bins in my linen closet at some point, but everything now has a home, everything is reachable without knocking something else over, and everything is an item we use and like, all for the bargain price of $15.87 and a little time.

Check out Instagram for pics of the re-homed lazy susan in the bathroom vanity.

Week 4, Day 2: Health and Beauty

Donna Joy

So, here’s one of the benefits of growing older: In a lot of areas, you know what you like, what works for you, and what doesn’t.

It doesn’t mean you can’t try new things – in fact a lot of studies say trying new things is an important part of staying mentally and emotionally and even physically healthy – but there are some things we don’t have to waste time making decisions about.

I know what sunscreen works for my face. I have extremely sensitive skin and there are roughly 2 brands of sunscreen/moisturizer/face cream I can put on my face without pain or massive breakouts.

I also know heavy, volume pumping hair products weigh my hair down and just don’t work for me.

And yet cleaning out my health and beauty supplies today, I found numerous different brands of face creams that I tried when I didn’t want to spend the money on the brand I know works.

I found bottles of hair volumizing products I purchased thinking…what? This time they would magically give my hair new life?

Removing these not only makes room in my closet, it also limits the millions of tiny decisions I make. I don’t have to dig through piles of moisturizers in my linen closet or stand in the store trying to sniff new shampoo scents through a mask. For many of these things, I already know what works for me. 

Buh-bye to the rest.

Week 4, Day 1: Cleaning Supplies

Donna Joy

Having everything breeds isolation. 

Except maybe if having everything includes owning a beach house, then I’ve heard you may never experience isolation again.

A beach house we once rented had a sign in the kitchen that read:
“You never know how many friends you have until you own a beach house.”

My neighbor used to have a bumper sticker on the back of his pick-up truck. 
“Yes, this is my truck. No, I won’t help you move.”

I get the frustration behind those sentiments. They both seem to be reacting against a feeling of being taken advantage of.vBut without veering into taking advantage of people, I think owning everything ourselves can limit opportunities to connect and create community.

As I was going through my cleaning supplies today, I came across a dryer vent cleaning kit. Many, many years ago a neighbor friend and I split the cost of the kit. I have no idea why we decided to split the cost of a dryer vent cleaning kit, but we did. And now a couple times a year, one of us will text the other,
“Hey, do you have the dryer kit?”
And we’ll trade it back and forth.

Over the years we’ve also traded camping equipment, kayaks, life jackets, crock pots, and countless other items. Usually, those trades end up including a front porch or kitchen table conversation, sometimes over a cup of coffee.

I love those conversations. 

Each exchange then becomes an opportunity for connection we might not have if we both owned it all ourselves.

I love this concept of relationship and community through shared stuff, instead of owning everything.

Less stuff taking up room in our garages and basements, more shared coffee and conversation. 

Sign me up.