We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for an important update:
Today I had an epiphany.
Like, a this-is-life-changing-while-also-super-obvious-why-didn’t-I realize-this-earlier-I-even-wrote-a-whole-post-about-it, kind of epiphany.
I am not motivated by shame.
I am stressed by shame.
I am physically afflicted by shame.
I am not motivated by shame.
And yet somehow, when I started this journey, I thought the most helpful and motivating thing for myself would be to keep every single item I am removing from my home in one place, so I could see the impact all together. (Read: so I could sit at the end of the challenge and wallow in a big old pile of shame clutter and hope those shame surges would motivate me to not bring so much stuff into my house in the future.)
Here’s what actually happened:
Everyday I put more and more donation items in my son’s bedroom (while he is away at college).
I balanced bags on top of boxes on top of bags.
I got multiple piles in and started thinking about how I need to go back and re-organize what’s in there, since I realized partway through, I will likely give different types of items to different organizations.
I spent a significant amount of time with the back of my head clogged with thoughts about how I needed to Organize.The.Clutter.I’m.Giving.Away.
Let that sit a second.
Every time I go in the give-away room I’m stressed at trying to find a place for things, to the point that some things have lingered in other rooms instead of going straight to give-away because I was avoiding going in there.
Then yesterday I decided to move some furniture around in my living/dining room.
As I walked into the rearranged room today, I caught my breath at how beautiful and peaceful it was.
I instantly wanted to do more and have that feeling in the rest of the house.
That motivated me.
It made me feel free, lighter, peaceful.
Right then I decided to immediately get rid of as much of my donations as possible.
I walked outside and stuck a sign on the front yard, along with a post in my local swap and sell group that I was having a “donate what you can, if you can” sale, along with a donation link to my favorite non-profit.
It was late in the day for an outdoor “sale” and very last minute, but even so, a number of items now have very happy new owners and the non-profit has a little more money than they did yesterday.
There are still lots of things left, so I plan to put the remainder out for one more day. Then I’ll box anything left back up, deliver it this week, and let the house and myself breathe a little deeper and feel a little freer.
Because it turns out, being able to breathe a little deeper and a little freer is what really motivates me.
Uncovering Real 